Friday, 24 April 2015

Question: If I leave and my partner remains hurt, is it my responsibility?

The Universe is always responding through you and not to you 


Question: If I leave and my partner remains hurt, is it my responsibility?

Life is a mirror!
If you leave another, you leave behind an imprint of how you were vibrating at that time. If that vibration was of inner  peace, calm and happiness then the imprint you leave will be a vibratory match.

Where your vibration was at odds with your innate nature, which is always unconditional love, then that imprint will instead be left by you on your emotional departure.

How the other person receives your imprint will be based on their level of vibration and perception. Their  current perspective.  If they feel within themselves calm, happy, peaceful self love, then your departure will not entirely affect these deeply anchored vibrational feelings.  

If however, the person had been in a state of turmoil, disorientation, feeling  ungrounded, or had lacked some self nurturing, then an exit will ultimately be perceived as something that has been done to them rather than for them.

All of life is a mirror. It is a mirror of what is happening for us at a soul level.

Life is happening through you, not to you!
The key is adapting to life, by adapting to continual  change. By accepting in each moment that you have the ability to make changes, you give yourself great power, great internal resource. 

Instead of feeling as if life is being done to you, you can recognise that life is happening because of you.

You realise this more and more as you engage with what is happening now, rather than what will happen when?

The benefits of focusing on the Now!
By learning to focus on the now, you are giving yourself the choice as to how you will perceive any given situation. This in itself does not negate the initial pain of loss, anger, sadness, etc, nor should it!!!

Focusing on the now does not negate any initial pain nor should it!
By denying any kind of fear such as pain, loss, anger and the sadness around these events you only serve to feed its negative energy. You cannot heal fear by suppressing it, or by not feeling it. By feeling it fully there is flow.  The flow of acknowledging, feeling it, experiencing it and ultimately releasing  it.  At the point of release we leave an energetic space for the new to enter.

You cannot heal fear by suppressing it!
In order for the new energy to be of love and not fear, then you need not only for it to be released, but you also need to forgive.

Forgiveness is not saying that the pain of loss or sadness did not exist.  Forgiveness is that point where you say ‘I no longer allow the fear of pain, sadness or loss to affect my inner equilibrium’.

By giving yourself permission to forgive both yourself and others, a great transformation ensues at a vibratory level.

The vibration of forgiveness is equal to the vibration of love…
For the vibration of forgiveness is equal to the vibration of love.  So, where you felt that you had been  abandoned, rejected,  left behind, you have in effect been given the emotional space to make a great transformation.

Of course, this will not be an easy transition at first. But with contemplation expressing your feelings, releasing and eventual forgiveness you will be able to view this situation from a different perspective. You will see that someone does not have the power to interpret how things are happening. They do not have the power regardless of how you choose to view your situation, everything presented to you is a mirror image of your soul.  The mirror gives you the perspective and power to interpret how you choose to feel this situation, how you choose to heal this situation, how you choose to release this situation.

Do not confuse perspective with denial.  Denial does not allow you to feel it, heal it or release it.  Denial is certainly not going to allow you to forgive.
When someone who you love leaves you, abandons you or even dies…..then take time to be in the emotion of it fully…..

It will feel overwhelming, you will want to shout why, how could you, how will I?

It is ok to feel the intense pain beneath these questions, but don’t put too much energy into finding the answers to these questions in this way or at this time.

The process of feeling the intensity of the sadness, the grief, the pain will lead you to a calmer place.  As you feel these intense emotions, you are giving yourself permission to heal and to see that this is not happening to you, but because of you.



Everything in your life is a mirror
Everything in your life is a mirror, a reflection of what your soul has been trying to teach you.

Abandonment may be showing you the way you have abandoned yourself, sacrificed your own needs, forgotten to look after you.

When we begin to self-nurture through the many initiations of the soul teaching us, then outside events cease to affect us in such deep and long lasting ways.
Instead of feeling wounded, we can, with experience look at our mirror and recognise that in fact these events are occurring in order for us to feel validated!

Validation can only ever come from your own soul
Validated? You may ask? How is this validating me when I feel so sad, hurt and alone? It is validating you because it is showing you that the Universe has recognised that at some level your sadness, your fear, your loneliness already existed and now it is giving you the opportunity to heal these aspects so that you no longer need to experience that in your soul.

The love you felt you had, the security you felt you had, the happiness you thought you had, they were all actually conditional. They were conditional on you receiving certain feelings or behaviours from another so that you would feel validated, loved, secure?

But in reality the only place your validation can come from is from your soul, your inner sense of worth, your own self love.

Validation or attachment?
Anything that does not come from your inner sense of peace and happiness is attachment.  Attachment is where our happiness and peace is dependent upon external circumstances, like people, money or fame.

In a state of attachment, we are living in constant fear. What if I lose my lover? What if I lose my job? What if I have no money?

The only security is to be happy, despite external influences whether that be people, fame or money.

The solid foundations you make for yourself will always withstand the external changes and reflections brought to you by the reflection of the mirror.

Life is not happening to you but through you!
When you are secure from within the Universe will arrange your life to reflect that life is not happening to you, but through you.

The people, the money, the recognition that you now give to yourself, the love that you now feel innately, at your deepest level, this will now be reflected back to you in all that you see, hear, and feel.  You will now know and recognise that how you feel within is what you will outwardly perceive around you.

So, if someone or something changes around you. You will now not label it as abandonment, loss rejection… you ruined my life…. You will allow yourself to feel the emotions freely, intensely, but without apportioning blame.

You will release the emotions as you realise the Universe is responding through you and not to you.  You will forgive yourself and others for those things that you no longer want to affect your equilibrium. You will heal!

Are you the person leaving?
If you are the person leaving, your responsibility is to be true to both your ex-partner and yourself. Again the Universe is working through you and not to you.
You have the choice how to respond in each moment.

If you are unhappy and not at peace then this relationship has been the mirror to you, to help you look at how you are still not nurturing yourself and healing yourself at a soul level.

Take time to learn about what the soul wants you to know from this experience. Then spend time healing those inner aspects of self.

No one is right and no one is wrong.  The Universe brought to your attention through your vibrational match, those aspects of self that still need healing, completion and transformation.

Everything and everyone that is brought into your life is a lesson or a gift and if you are lucky they are both!






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